Cpt. Bud's Devotionals, 10-4-15: "An Uncomfortable, Inconvenient God"

I've often heard it said and written, as an antithesis to the existence of, or belief in, God, that the concept is much too "comfortable" and "convenient" for Him to be true. That with the idea of a God, we fit too well in the world, in the universe. I've learned, however, after reading the Bible, the Book from which a Christian should derive his or her notions about God, that though He is loving and wonderful, His truth is anything but comfortable and convenient.

How convenient it would be if His holy word did not tell me that life on this earth will be rank with injustices and grief; how convenient it would be if He promised me smooth sailing instead. But He doesn't. How comfortable I'd be in this world if He gave me an explanation of the universe's origin that didn't make Bill Nye think I'm a superstitious bumpkin. But He didn't. How I love to lust, to be angry and spiteful, to hold grudges, to hate. But what a buzzkill that I believe in a God who tells me these things are destructive to myself, and to others.
How convenient to my morality would it be if I had no one to whom to answer, to whom to be accountable, and if all my rotten deeds (and even my few good deeds) rotted along with my corpse after death as I cease to exist, and if those I left behind would wait for the sun to explode and to be like me. But, what an inconvenience it is to my conscience that I will answer to Almighty God for my time on Earth.
How comfortable it would be to blend in with the rest of the world, to be just like everyone else, a world where every fingerprint and snowflake are exactly alike and mean nothing (except when my DNA is needed for a conviction for my embarrassing acts in Santa Fe when I'd stopped taking my Lamictal regimen back in 2011).
How comfortable it would be to go unrecognized in the moral dilemmas we make, to have no conviction from Christ, who the world dismisses and calls a liar. But His Holy and inconvenient Spirit reminds me to speak up, to proclaim Him who died for me and rose again, and who longs for the souls around me in the world - the world in which I don't fit - to be saved as well.

God is beautiful, He is true, He is sovereign, He is merciful, He is good. I suppose He is convenient for me in that respect - that the only real God is the One who took on wrath and punishment on the cross, so that the punishments I deserved would never fall on me, so that I could live abundant life. I am one lucky bumpkin.
But how inconvenient it is for my flesh that the same God convicts me to do good and to shun evil. How inconvenient it is for my flesh that He tells me He loves me, and other gorgeous things that make my cynical mind cringe, when I fail.

I thank God for making me so uncomfortable, for being so inconvenient.
OHMS,
Cpt. Bud Sturguess

"Now when I looked, there was a hand stretched out to me; and behold, a scroll of a book was in it. Then He spread it before me; and there was writing on the inside and on the outside, and written on it were lamentations and mourning and woe. Moreover He said to me, "Son of man, eat what you find; eat this scroll, and go, speak to the house of Israel." So I opened my mouth, and He caused me to eat that scroll.
And He said to me, "Son of man, feed your belly, and fill your stomach with this scroll that I give you." So I ate, and it was in my mouth like honey in sweetness." -Ezekiel 2:9-3:3

Cpt. Bud's Devotionals, 9-27-15: "Soft Answers & Fake Accents"

Long ago, when dealing over the phone with customer service (particularly when it pertained to my internet service with a company I won't name), I found that the inevitable result of my shouting and cursing could be curbed by a simple trick: faking an accent. At first, I chose the voice of Al Pacino in Scarface, but it wasn't long before my throat felt quite rough and was frankly killing me. Aside from that, the Tony Montana voice actually encouraged the rage and profanity, rather than diverting it. So, next I chose a British accent. Having long been a fan of British rock, and listened to many interviews by many English artists, I felt I could fake one at least well enough to quell my anger while on the phone with [internet company].

"But Bud," one might ask...
"Captain Bud."
"But Bud," one might ask, "how did faking an accent keep you from flying off the handle?"

It's simple: I was too focused on keeping the mild-mannered British accent (not the angry British accents, like from Snatch...or were they Irish?) to lose my cool. If I said what I needed with a focus on not only communication, but on keeping my fake Cambridge accent, I found I was too preoccupied to handle being angry. And anyone who's ever been angry knows, anger takes up a lot of space in one's mind. There was simply no room for it in my brain or on my tongue with a fake accent.

In the book of Proverbs, it's written, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." If, mentally at first, then verbally, we can talk and think about our issues with a calm and cool voice - literally - it will do a surprising bit of good to avoid becoming more upset than we already are. Much like the fake accent, focusing on a reserved tone will leave us too preoccupied to lose our grip on being calm. Not only does it give us more opportunity to search for the right words carefully, so as not to add insult to an already ugly situation, but the softness of speaking in such a way can have a calming effect on one's body and mind. Maybe it's some kind of physiological thing I discovered.

And no, you don't have to try to sound like Rex Harrison while doing so. Be yourself.

As for the anger that must be released, there is always One to whom we can take those burdens. One to whom we can cry out, even shouting that we don't understand, that He's allowed us to go through something awful and unfair, that we've been unjustly treated, that we've treated others unjustly, One who, being our eternal High Priest, Advocate, and Savior who took on God's wrath on the cross, will listen to our most inarticulate rage with understanding: the Lord Jesus Christ.

But with people, we flawed and disappointed things, use a soft answer. An actual, verbally soft answer. Even if that soft answer doesn't turn away the wrath of the person offending you, it will certainly help ease your heart, and turn away wrath from yourself. Which is abundantly healthy, because anger will consume our thinking and eat us alive, rendering us broken vessels for Christ's love, dimming beacons for His light of life.
OHMS,
Cpt. Bud Sturguess

"Make no friendship with an angry man,
and with a furious man do not go,
lest you learn his ways
and set a snare for your soul."
-Proverbs 22:24-25

Cpt. Bud's Devotionals, 9-20-15: "Queen Elsa Rhapsody"

This past Tuesday saw my last performance of my "summer job," playing Queen Elsa at children's birthday parties. I probably could have kept up the performances through the winter (fitting, as the character is from a movie called Frozen), but at this last party, I exhaled a little too hard and the paunch of my Elsa costume tore. This job playing Queen Elsa was a tough one. Not just because I've still never seen Frozen and didn't know what to say to the kids (besides "you kids go play - ol' Captain Bud needs to sit down"), but also because a nagging thought stayed in my mind, namely, a statute in the Torah (the Mosaic Law) that forbids transvestism.
I tried to remind myself, "It's not like I'm Tim Curry in Rocky Horror. And I'm not wearing this stuff to fill some sensual thrill."

God reminded me of what He spoke through the great prophet Jeremiah to disobedient, wandering Judah: "For I did not speak to your fathers, or command them in the day that I brought them out of the land of Egypt, concerning burnt offerings or sacrifices. But this is what I commanded them, saying, 'Obey My voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be My people. And walk in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well with you'" (Jeremiah 7:22-23).

Obey God's voice. And what does God's voice speak to us under the New Covenant sealed by His own blood on the cross, a Covenant foretold by the Torah itself? God speaks, saying we are not under the threat of a cosmic hammer; we are not under the world's misconception of God - we are under the law of the true God. Not the Law of the Moses, the Torah, that beautiful prelude of salvation to come, but the law of grace and righteousness in Christ Jesus.

As I learn more that Christianity is not about rules and fear, I realize that the "secular" world has barked more orders at me than any pastor ever did. The world tells me: "Don't do this, don't do that. Don't say this, don't say that, lest you feel the wrath of Twitter and a boycott. Don't eat this, don't eat that. This is now acceptable, that is not. Saints worthy of praise are: Darwin, Dylan, Reagan, Roosevelt, O'Reilly, O'Maher. And, beware of boogeymen and devils like the Illuminati and vaccines that cause autism."
The world makes for a fickle god with its own unstable religious doctrine. A doctrine of rules and regulations, of exclusion and prejudice, of ignorance, of humiliation, with no redemption unless Oprah can get a tearful interview from it.

I thank God that His voice commands no such things. I thank God that His voice calls me back to Him when I stray, reminds me of the unkillable truth of His joy when I'm alone. I thank God for such a beautiful voice to obey.

OHMS,
Cpt. Bud Sturguess
"Now if the ministry that brought death, which was engraved in letters on stone, came with glory, so that the Israelites could not look steadily at the face of Moses because of its glory, transitory though it was, will not the ministry of the Spirit be even more glorious? If the ministry that brought condemnation was glorious, how much more glorious is the ministry that brings righteousness! For what was glorious has no glory now in comparison with the surpassing glory. And if what was transitory came with glory, how much greater is the glory of that which lasts!" -2 Corinthians 3:7-11

Cpt. Bud's Devotionals, 9-13-15: "Am I Right, Fellas?!"

Last week, I became enamored with the new lady who works in my apartment's office. She's one of the loveliest dames I've ever seen, and makes Rebel Wilson - the most beautiful woman in Hollywood - look like Ron Perlman. I declared to my friends that the mystery lady and I would surely someday be married...I didn't know her name - I assumed I'd probably see it when we signed the paperwork at the Justice of the Peace. Ever since that gorgeous new lady began working in the apartment office, I found any excuse I could to go and see her: I took a croquet mallet to my walls just so I could go to the office to report the damage, and I even pretended I couldn't read or write, so she'd fill out my checks for me.

But I was soon convicted by the Holy Spirit, who once spoke through my brother in Christ, Andrew, who has often discussed his own struggle with the carnal mindset. Andrew once said that, as Christians, men should look at women not as their next potential love interest, but as sisters. Andrew was absolutely right. If we Christian men don't see our sisters in God in this way, or if we don't see unsaved women as potential sisters rather than potential girlfriends, our understandings of the Holy Spirit's instructions to the Church through Scripture have grown dim.

My mistake with women, emotionally speaking (never mind the fleshly lusts), has always been getting too attached to them within an extremely short time of meeting them. As evidenced with the apartment office mystery lady, I see a future that usually won't come to be, and my disillusionment is nobody's fault but mine. When it comes to the ladies, we men-folk should see ourselves as their brothers, their fellow saints in Christ, their teachers, their students, their protectors, their friends, as surely Christian women should see their male counterparts. And when it comes to the unsaved dames, we must see them as we see any unsaved person - someone to love in a Christlike manner, someone to whom to witness, to bless, someone for whom to sacrifice of ourselves so that maybe they would be led to believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

If we don't see women - sisters in Christ or daughters of the world - in this way, we objectify them. And when they reject us, turn us down for dinner at Outback Steakhouse, or don't reciprocate our gooey, mushy, crushy feelings, we scoff at them to hide the pain, saying things like, "If that chick don't wanna know, forget her! Dames...am I right, fellas?!"
And what an abundant chance to show love has been lost.
Should we fall in love with a woman, that's beautiful. But, after prayer and discernment, when we know it's right to pursue a relationship, let us keep her exalted as a sister in Christ until she becomes a girlfriend, and after. This is how we can keep our relationship with her, whether it be platonic or romantic, in a godly perspective - if we continue to see her as our sister, bound by the precious Blood of the Lamb, we approach and react to every disappointment and every delight in a way that is fitting for the saints: patiently, with wisdom and edification. For there is "neither male nor female," but we are all one in Christ Jesus.
OHMS,
Cpt. Bud Sturguess
"For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life." -Galatians 6:8

"Young women of Jerusalem, promise me by the power of deer and gazelles never to awaken love before it is ready." -Song of Solomon 8:4 (CEV)

Cpt. Bud's Devotionals, 9-6-15: "Captive Hearts"

When the Supreme Court voted to legalize same-sex marriage in June, God told me (not audibly, but you know what I mean), "Muse on this in your heart, but don't speak about it; wait until I give you the proper things to say." Now, He has.

In Christian history, the name "Babylon" has often been applied to any place known for excess and decadence. In the early days of the Church, Christians and Jews alike referred to the authority in Rome as "Babylon." Rome...that place of rampant murder of emperors and politicians, and sexually immoral behavior not seen since Sodom and Gomorrah. So, if the followers of Christ who lived in such a place were focused on proclaiming the Gospel rather than trying to prevent various sexual sins (including homosexuality, quite the norm in Rome) via political power, why aren't we in America doing the same? Granted, those in Rome didn't have much political power with which to work, lest they lost their heads (literally), but you understand my point.

The fact is, so many in Christ's Church reacted to the same-sex marriage issue (long before its legalization) as if America were our god. We weren't dismayed by the fact that God's word forbids homosexual relations - we were dismayed because it's not what John Wayne would do. We were dismayed because it's not the good wholesome America of the 1950s - apple pie, crew cuts, and segregated schools. We chose to live in political strife, rather than accept, and practice, what Christ's word tells us - that the world will turn further and further from His instructions, that people will heap up for themselves teachers of false doctrines; that we're to persevere and spread the Gospel despite living in evil times in an evil world. What little faith we have in God's word to be so surprised when these things come to pass! What audacity we have, what distrust in our Savior, to seek an answer in a good, decent candidate who can lead our country in "the right direction again," instead of earnest prayer and sacrifice.
We were up in arms with posts and polls, instead of prayers and petitions for those in need. We looked forward to reading the voting ballots for various propositions to proclaim same-sex marriage unconstitutional, more than we looked forward to reading God's word - the word written by the Holy Spirit through those who lived in turbulent and decadent times, but whose desire was not in legislation, but in leading the lost to Christ.

When we base our faith on politics, worldly protocol, and other such idolatry, we try to manipulate Jesus into "our" Jesus - the conservative Jesus, the liberal Jesus, the middle-of-the-road Jesus, the hippie Jesus, the tough guy Jesus. We place our idea of the American dream and American values over the commission given to us by our Christ. If we think America didn't fit the Babylonian description before the same-sex marriage debacle, or that the exaltation of homosexual relationships is the only sin that makes us like the decadent Babylons of eras past, we are certainly deluded.

The prophet Jeremiah told those in sinful Judah that the nation would be overrun, its inhabitants taken captive to Babylon. The Lord instructed Jeremiah to tell the captive Hebrews in Babylon to live life for God, despite having been taken captive to a foreign land, rank with other forms of the ungodliness that had caused His judgment to fall on Israel and Judah. He also rebuked false prophets who said it wouldn't happen, that Judah was safe from destruction - much like we in America have the same notion that we're somehow immune to becoming a fallen empire like Assyria, Egypt, Rome, and even Babylon.

Jeremiah wrote to the captives there:
"Build houses and dwell in them; plant gardens and eat their fruit. Take wives and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons and give your daughters to husbands, so that they may bear sons and daughters - that you may be increased there, and not diminished. And seek the peace of the city where I have caused you to be carried away captive, and pray to the LORD for it; for in its peace you will have peace. For thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel: Do not let your prophets and your diviners who are in your midst deceive you, nor listen to your dreams which you cause to be dreamed. For they prophesy falsely to you in My name; I have not sent them, says the LORD" (Jeremiah 29:5-9).

If those in Babylon were instructed to seek the peace of that ungodly empire, and to even seek the good of its leaders as the prophet Daniel later did when Babylon fell to another empire, what gives believers in modern America a license to live in strife and debate, rather than in love, in ministering, in being witnesses for the Gospel of Jesus Christ? Isn't that our best way to seek the peace of our nation?
A debate on same-sex marriage never led a soul to Jesus; nor did a vote, nor did a Facebook profile picture that changed the pink "equality" sign into a cross. These things never fed a starving belly nor tended to a helpless person's wounds. God's instruction to believers in America is no different than His directions to those carried away to Babylon, or to those in the early Christian Church, so abundantly slaughtered by Rome - to seek the nation's peace, to be holy. To be holy is to be set apart. "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God" (Romans 12:2).

How will Christ's love be evident through us if we serve American values - whatever those are - rather than the Lord Himself?

Cpt. Bud's Devotionals, 8-30-15: "The Cure For the Fear of Being Average"

I recently happened upon a quote by Taylor Swift (who you all of course know from the hit "Blank Space" song), who said:
"I am intimidated by the fear of being average."
Maybe in the right context, those words were meant to describe a different sentiment, but repeated so often as a mantra, by her fans and non-fans alike, it struck me as a pretentious, typically "celebrity" thing to say.

I'd rather be an average nobody than live in fear of being like the Grammy-less commoners. I'd rather be the humdrum guy the commercials warn you about (the ones that tell you by not buying their product, you're somehow succumbing to the blah and the boring) - that is, the guy who stays home on the weekends. At least, I'd much prefer to be the average guy if my only other choice is living in the dread of not being able to post pictures on Instagram every Saturday of some new, exotic place I've been, some trip that I feel somehow makes me free inside, or that I'm liberated from the dregs of life by posing next to the world's largest hand-carved statue of Stevie Wonder in some adventurous place like Saginaw, Michigan. Nothing against Stevie or Saginaw.
The reality of life is that the average mechanic who raises an average family in average Iowa has done an amazing thing, even if he's never been canoeing or read Atlas Shrugged. My mother managed an average Dairy Queen for thirty-plus years in average Seminole, Texas; she never made it to the cover of Rolling Stone. But she was the greatest mother I could have asked for.

There are people who, by being themselves, stand out. They're quirky, they're colorful, they're characters. And, there are people who, by being themselves, blend in very easily with the average crowd. But there are also those who, in an idolatrous mindset, are so fearful of the thought of being considered "normal" or "average," that they go out of their way to stand out. It's the wrong kind of attention to desire, because that person is not being who they really are; they're stuck in a one-person show with quite an uncomfortable mask, and addicted to any applause they get. Even sadder, there are so many people like this, it makes them more normal than they think.

But every one of these people - the stand-outs, the average, the fake - are never forgotten before our Father in heaven. And even the most average among us is precious in His sight - He gave His Son for all of us.

If you are in Christ, and you want to be different, you already are: you accept Christ in a world that has rejected Him as God. You're different because you're holy, not through any holiness of your own, but by Christ's holiness. God exhorts the Israelites several times, and repeats through the apostle Peter, "Be holy, for I am holy." To be holy is to be set apart. The apostle Paul urges believers not to be "conformed to this world." The ways of this world are, among many other things, self-absorbed and self-serving. If you dread being complacent, lackadaisical, and average, abide in your Lord and be set apart from this world. Do the mighty works He's called us to do, spread the gorgeous truth of His Gospel, and minister to those in need. Only don't do so to be different, but because Christ gave Himself for us and saved us; do so because you long to see others believe and come to know this joy and grace.

And if those things, the Great Commission, the Gospel, the name of Jesus, makes you average and obscure, unknown and common in the eyes of the self-soothing world, you're in good company - our Lord also humbled Himself and was mired in obscurity as a carpenter for much of His walk on Earth as a Man, far from palaces and praise, spat upon and mocked. If our peace and joy is in Him, we won't be stricken with fear at the thought of being average in the world's eyes, nor will we seek our identity in fleeting things, our liberalisms and conservatisms, our feminisms and masculinisms, our nationalisms and humanisms.
Christ's Holy Spirit writes, "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross" (Philippians 2:3-8).
OHMS,
Cpt. Bud Sturguess

"He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3:30
"And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." -Matthew 23:12

Cpt. Bud's Devotionals, 8-23-15: "My Lunch With the Nerds: Thoughts on Pride"

Nerds have certainly come a long way. Back in my day (the 80s and 90s), they were ostracized and shunned from the community. And now, they rule the world. People even strive to be like nerds, and call themselves nerds even if they're not. It's a huge shot in the arm for a people who were once held up by the cool guys like me, as examples of what not to be. The schism was deep:
"Detached and subdivided in the mass production zone,
nowhere is the dreamer or the misfit so alone
Subdivisions in the high school halls,
in the shopping malls -
Conform or be cast out
Subdivisions in the basement bars,
in the backs of cars -
Be cool or be cast out..."

"What are we having?"

Only now, it's cool to be a nerd. I have several friends who are nerds, and I don't have to hang my head when I say it - even if I can't really identify with the struggle (says the man who wears clothes from the 1870s, and just quoted Rush, the nerdiest band of all time). Recently, I had lunch with a few of my nerd friends (who are also my brothers in Christ). They began debating some nerd topic; probably Star Wars related. Years ago, I'd have beaten them all up and made their girlfriends hold my jacket and hat (though years ago, they wouldn't have had girlfriends). But, times have progressed, and more importantly, so has the Holy Spirit's work on my hard, hard heart.
Anyway, the longer I listened to the nerds debate their topic, I saw that it was becoming more and more heated and impassioned. Their talk turned a bit ugly. Points on which movie will ultimately have left fans more disappointed, The Phantom Menace or The Force Awakens, became thinly veiled personal attacks.

The strife in their conversation led me to realize something: the reason we get upset when someone insults us, or something we love, is, deep down, due to idolatry and pride.
If our all is truly focused in Christ, we know that it's a very meaningless thing if Boba Fett's death in the Sarlacc Pit in Return of the Jedi was as humiliating and hilarious as some depict it (it was), or if it was a noble end to the galaxy's most feared bounty hunter. Our identity is not in our entertainment preferences, our intellectual stimulation or lack thereof, and not even in our own dignity. If, as disciples of Christ, we find ourselves in a rage when insulted personally, our minds have strayed a bit off-center. Jesus tells us to expect ridicule for our beliefs, and to turn the other cheek - how can we allow ourselves to be enraged by attacks on things far less important than the belief in Jesus as Lord?
Or, what about when we're called out for our own sins? Is it not pride and self-righteousness that make us angry when a brother or sister, hopefully in a "spirit of gentleness," admonishes us?

This identity in Christ not only applies to our relationships with others, but to our walks in this imperfect world. Anyone who desires to follow Christ must seek their identity only in Him. If I claim Christ is my all, it's nothing short of idolatry to claim my "identity" as a Greek, Jew, Creek, Sioux, nationalist, pacifist, patriot, environmentalist, feminist, conservative, progressive, liberal, criminal, radical, fanatical: "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28).
Oswald Chambers once said, "Discouragement is disillusioned self-love." I wouldn't have known that if a friend hadn't sent me a message asking what I thought of that quote. I suppose it's true: if we fully embraced that our identity is in Christ, that our strength, purpose, and hope is in Him, and that He will never leave a good work incomplete, we wouldn't be so quick to be bitterly discouraged. We're discouraged because we want to do better for our sakes, not for the sake of the Gospel and the glory of God. We're frustrated because it's not going the way we want it, on our terms.

This is certainly not to say, however, that any outpouring of emotion that stems from negative things is somehow bad. Good gosh, I'm not Martin Luther, you know. A Christian, or anyone with a heart, can't help but feel agony and pins of despair in their guts when they hear that Islamic State militants have beheaded an 82-year-old archaeologist in Palmyra, that abortion is legal, praised, and encouraged, or that many witnesses in countries around the world are tortured, imprisoned, and killed for teaching the Gospel. But there is a difference between godly sorrow and godly anger, and petty, prideful, selfish rage - fury that amounts to nothing.

Not only must our identity be found in Jesus, but our value. At our church community group, a sister in Christ recently shared something she heard; to paraphrase, "a car, for example, is often valued by how much was paid for it, and who owns it. God paid the ultimate price for us, and we belong to Him. That should tell us our value." If we stay deeply rooted in this truth of identity and value, it can only follow that disagreements, insults, disappointments, struggles, and all other buffetings of this fallen world will only be met with forgiveness, love, perseverance, longsuffering, patience, and the reassurance of peace in our all, the Lord Jesus Christ.
OHMS,
Cpt. Bud Sturguess
"For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there." -James 3:16