2012 (yes I know that's not the future, just shutup): The debate rages on concerning the legalization and taxing of marijuana; whether it is a question or morality, health, government, etc. Alcohol meanwhile remains perfectly legal despite causing numerous deaths on a daily basis.
2022: Many partakers of the bright green pleasure machine are now elected to office, as Governors, Senators, Congressmen and Congresswomen; they naturally want to protect themselves from legal scandal, therefore...
2023: Marijuana becomes a legal substance, taxed and sold in your local convenient store, between the Soap Opera Digest and the Monster energy drinks.
2030: A mortician in Bluefield, West Virginia is baked when his assistant, who was heavily baked at the time, accidentally turns on the cremation machine whilst the mortician is inside, searching for where he last placed his prized Seth Rogen Series ivory bong.
2031: Though nowhere as frequent as alcohol-related deaths and injuries, a small but noticeable concern grows in America over whether or not a legal cannabis intake limit should be put in place for public marijuana use, much like a blood-alcohol level.
2034: The Illinois State Supreme Court becomes the first to enact a cannabis level limit, which works much like a field sobriety test. The law is passed on September 3rd; it was meant to be passed September 2nd, but half of the Illinois Supreme Court forgot about the meeting and went to a Denny's in Chicago instead.
2035: Several states follow in making cannabis level limits for public use of marijuana. By the end of 2038, forty-seven states have such laws in place; see if you can guess which three don't!
2036: Numerous protests by grass-roots (pun intended) activists insist that State governments limiting the amount of marijuana one can use at any given time in public is, to quote one group's leader, Violet Burgundy, "unconstitutional and sooo gay."
2040: US Representative from Texas, Ron Paul (yes he's still alive - he's 105 years old, has legally changed his name to "Cap'n Ron Paul McCartney," and takes more geriatric medications than the entire cast of Hot In Cleveland combined, but dangit the kids love him) once again runs for President, citing the cannabis level limits as unconstitutional, and using the hot button issue as one of his main platforms. On Election Day '40, he is defeated by the Democratic nominee by 420% to 308% (somehow by 2040, mathematical laws were altered and somehow made these figures possible).
2085: The first lawsuit by a private citizen against a major marijuana corporation is filed; Kenneth Palmer of Salina, Kansas, claims his consistent short-term memory loss and low sperm count is the direct result of "big marijuana" and their advertisements, which he feels influenced his decision to begin smoking weed.
2086: "Big marijuana" settles the case with Palmer out of court, awarding him $25,000.
2087: Hundreds more similar suits by similar users with similar side-effects from marijuana use are filed.
2088: The first anti-big marijuana company commercial airs during the first game of the World Series (won by the Pittsburgh Pirates).
2089: Similar commercials air rampantly; the kind with teenagers with tough faces staring into the camera, vowing never to become "victims of big marijuana," using mannequins and other creepy props to make their points, eerily similar to today's "Truth" commercials condemning "big tobacco."
2091: Marijuana companies are no longer allowed to advertise on billboards or in High Times magazine.
2091: High Times magazine goes out of business.
2095: By this year, courts have awarded a whopping eighteen billion dollars in numerous lawsuits in the US to people who claimed to have been affected negatively by "big marijuana" corporations. In a speech before the Organization of Veterans of the Venezuelan Conflict, Senator Paul-McCartney calls this "justice in action."
2100: Marijuana use stays steady in the US at the turn of another century, having first surpassed tobacco use in 2047. Marijuana farming and distribution makes up one of the three leading industries in the US (the other two being avocado bobble heads and extension cords).
