Written in 2013 for a woman with whom I was in love. Though I long ago fell (or grew) out of love with her, when I rediscovered this piece of strained melodramatics I realized there are bits of this and that, that I rather like. Except, I hope never to feel "unworthy" to talk to someone - anyone - ever again.
“A Lily Among Thorns”
In a dream,
as all poems begin it seems,
I saw chains on every brilliant thought,
every one-liner and wonderful remark
I saw men and women who had made me laugh,
made me stop to think
like Augustus Caesar in the dark –
Their memory all bound to some ugly thing,
some kind of hackneyed pain
The kind that surrounds a joke
told by someone lost but not forgotten,
the kind found in sappy poems full of hope
I saw Heath Ledger being carried to eternity
I saw Lenin and Lennon scoffing
I saw John Belushi fading away
down in West L.A.
I tried to awake, I wanted to go home
but somebody grabbed my arm –
Belushi himself in a bumble-bee robe
I spoke to Belushi’s ghost,
“Belushi, you’ve shown me only malice,
greed, apathy!
Depressing haunts swirling around what
should cheer me most
Belushi I beg you, show me some tenderness,
some depth of feeling,
preferably in green or blue eyes
with no venom in its smile
and no vengeance in its wit,
a beautiful mind with no bitterness or guile”
He raised his brow and pointed to you,
like Gettysburg eclipsing Waterloo,
like a sudden burst of laughter from those
who mourn,
like a lily among the thorns
You’re a duchess with hands covered in paint
You’re a bringer of good tidings
from days of yore,
a contrast to my raving complaint
You’re the one in the bookstore,
un-abridging the abridged Gaston Leroux
And I’m leafing through Louis L'Amour,
unworthy to say Wordsworth to you
from the book Amen, Bad Luck To You
