Things Blowing Up is a young adult novel about a small town that's dubbed "the most depressing town in Missouri." The town is subsequently invaded by aliens seeking to study depression in order to cure an epidemic on their home planet. The story follows a group of teens and their troubled families as they struggle to survive the invasion. Things Blowing Up will be available July 21, 2025, from lulu.com.
Chapter 23: The Phenomenon of Sorrow
It was about two o’clock in the morning when Adelia started screaming. Everybody’s first thought was the aliens were sick of flexing in the sky and they were coming in. But in the dim glow of the nightlight I saw Adelia hanging onto Barry’s leg as he struggled to climb the stairs.
He’d been rummaging through Tumbleweed’s stuff while everybody slept, and found a big pair of boots and an old flannel jacket. He was laughing. For a second I thought him and Adelia were playing around. Then I realized he had the shotgun in his left hand. Adelia hung onto him like a pit bull and started pulling at the oversized boots he’d scavenged.
The rest of us jumped up when it finally sunk in through the grogginess what was going on. Me, Dad, Mario and Dave went after Barry. Brenda pulled on Adelia to get her away while the rest of us tried to wrestle Barry down the stairs. I grabbed the shotgun by the barrel and struggled to keep it pointed up. I noticed blood on the stairs. Dad’s bandages were open.
Mrs. Pico and Brenda finally got Adelia away from the fight, and Mr. Pico was gingerly sneaking up with a pipe of some kind in his hand. Any other time it would have been a little extreme, but Barry was completely insane, with superhuman strength and a shotgun. When I saw a stray yellow capsule on the stairs, I lost my grip. We should have checked his pockets or made him tell us if there were any other hiding places for Tumbleweed’s dope.
As soon as I lost my hold on the shotgun, a blast sent us all scattering as plaster rained from the ceiling. Barry let out a loud, crazy giggle and sprinted up the stairs. I felt paralyzed. It was that demented laugh that froze me. It pierced through the intense ringing in my ears as I lay there on my side, watching my friend, turned into a giggling lunatic, disappear into the darkness above us.
Seeing Dad’s blood on the stairs and on my hands must have snapped me out of it. I forced my brain to cooperate in helping Mario and Dave carry Dad down the stairs. His foot was a mess and his eyes were practically crossed with pain, but he told us to go after Barry before he got himself killed. So we bounded up the stairs as fast as you can go when you’re in a daze and you can hardly hear. I never realized before how much it affects your motor skills when your eardrums don’t work.
We made it to the Boggises’ living room as Barry was driving his shoulder into the front door, trying to break it down. In his pilled-up excitement, he didn’t realize the doorknob worked. When he saw me, Dave, Mario and Brenda coming after him, he stepped back and blew a hole in the front door with the shotgun. He ducked and plowed through it, making it bigger with the size of his body.
The four of us followed him. I don't think any of us thought about it. We just rushed through the hole in the door. It was the middle of the night, but I forgot when I saw everything bathed in red from the barrier. Through the ringing in my ears I could somehow hear Barry’s crazy laughter, but not the humming and throbbing of the ship directly above us. There weren’t any potato gunners around this time to distract it. But even if there were, I think the aliens were determined to take somebody. When everything turned green, my muscles, my intestines, everything that made up my being was pierced with a thousand little pin pricks. I felt like a rubber band being stretched as I began to float.
It’s funny, how relieved I was to see Mario, Dave, Brenda and Barry (without the shotgun) being pulled up with me in the sick green light. It was such an agonizing and slow trip that I had time to feel bad for being happy that I wasn’t alone. I shouldn’t have been glad my friends were being abducted by aliens. I should have wished they were safe on the ground. You think the dumbest things during an alien invasion.
It turns out the inside of a spaceship looks pretty much like they do in the movies. At least this one did. Everything looked like it was made of chrome, with panels of blinking lights and buttons and dials, and there were clear wide tubes that went up and down from the ceiling, maybe fifty feet above us. The circular room we were in was huge, with lots of open space in the middle. Most of the gizmos and panels were connected to the walls. If the entire ship was the size of a mansion, this room was the fancy lobby.
I don’t think any of us were afraid or even shocked. Of course this was what the inside of the ship would look like. Being inside it now, after everything it had done to us, it felt like another why not? thing. We’d seen death lasers and abduction beams. We might as well see the inside, and see the alien beings who operated the ugly thing that destroyed our town. I just wished I’d said goodbye to Dad. I had plenty of chances when we were in the basement all that time. I could have just randomly said, any time I wanted, in case something happens to me, I love you. If there’s ever a reason to tell somebody you love them, it’s during an alien invasion.
Mario had the wherewithal to recite a Catholic thing (I think) while he gazed around at all the alien technology. “If ye have received power over me from the Lord, draw nigh and delay not, for I am ready for you. But if ye have come at the command of Satan, get ye back to your places and tarry not, for I am a servant of Jesus the Conqueror.”
I wished Mario hadn’t said all that, or at least that he'd said it in Spanish. The words rubbed off on me and I felt braver than I really was when the big tubes started glowing that familiar sick green, and twelve literal otherworldly beings slowly descended from someplace above. When their big reveal was through, the only thing that really jarred me was how much they looked just like the way the crackpots (at least they used to be crackpots) always said they did. They sure gave weight to Mario’s theory of a common creator, anyway. Humanoids about five-and-a-half feet tall, with two legs, two arms, a big head with two huge black eyes, a mouth where ours is, five fingers on two hands, and two short bare feet with five toes each. I counted.
They wore poshy red robes made of something that had a silver shimmery effect. The only thing that was different from the movies and the crackpots was their skin wasn’t green. It was a gross shade of gray, like old organs you see preserved in formaldehyde. Their skin wasn’t smooth or free of blemishes, either. That was what I noticed most. They had wrinkles, spots, ruts, even a light layer of fuzz.
Barry was the only one who was freaking out, but if he wasn’t high on pills he’d have been as collected as the rest of us. He wasn’t afraid or in awe at seeing an alien for the first time, but he was pacing back and forth like a caged animal, or somebody itching for a fight. It was a good thing he dropped the shotgun on the ground. He cussed and taunted the dozen gray beings about everything from their robes looking gay (his words, not mine) too how much of a coward it takes to zap people to death from a big impenetrable ship. I don’t know why the others didn’t tell him to shut up. I know the reason I didn’t was because everything he said was true, and these beings deserved to be told they were cowards in ridiculous costumes. Even if it came from the spitting wild version of Barry who I didn’t know and didn’t like.
When his rant hit a peak, he screamed and rushed at the aliens. The rest of us shouted at him to stop. It went as well as it could have. One of the twelve intercepted him (with average human strength, not magical powers or by manipulating gravity), and without uttering a sound or changing their expressions they held Barry in place while one of them reached into its robe and took out a syringe full of yellow liquid. As Barry shouted every vulgar sixth grade insult that came to his brain, the alien gently put the needle in his neck.
They didn’t let him fall to the chrome floor. They just lifted him as gingerly as paramedics would lift somebody with a broken neck and placed him on a gurney. I hadn’t even noticed two of the aliens wheeling it around the moment Barry rushed at them.
Me, Mario, Dave and Brenda all clutched at one another’s arms as if to keep the other from fainting or going after the gray things. When we realized Barry was breathing, then snoring, we relaxed our stance a little.
So far, everybody, human and humanoid both, had played it cool, except Barry, and he looked like he was fine, all things considered. He could have easily been zapped to ashes with some space weapon instead of knocked out with space drugs. The atmosphere was so quiet, the hum of the ship almost comforting from the inside, that we weren’t taken aback when the alien with the syringe started talking, and in words we knew. Its voice wasn’t metallic and cold like the act prudently warning. It was like somebody being slow and overly careful with their words because they’re still trying to get a grasp of the language.
“We welcome you to our craft with charity and assurances of your safety. On behalf of those of us you see gathered before you, and on behalf of our commander, again we say welcome.”
Brenda would be the first one to get salty. “You’ve literally incinerated like a hundred people. I wouldn’t call that safe.”
The spokesman/spokeswoman tilted his or her head like it was thinking carefully about a good response. “We certainly understand your skepticism. We do not perceive it as a flaw on your part.”
“Oh, you don’t think I’m flawed! Greeeaaat!” Brenda glared.
The alien cocked its head again. It could apparently detect sarcasm, so it knew it had to formulate some really smooth words if it wanted to charm Brenda. “We assure you, you are perfectly welcome on our craft. We have no ill intent toward you.”
There was an awkward silence, just like we were all humans. Then Dave asked, “what did you put in Barry’s neck?”
The head alien put some extra sweetness in its voice. “It is the equivalent of a basic sedative on your planet. Our studies show it is closely related chemically to your Valium. Your companion will not be negatively affected by the serum unless he suffers from a natural allergy to it. Judging by his current state, this does not appear to be the case. You can certainly understand our reasoning for neutralizing him temporarily.”
Mario spoke up. He had the priestly tone in his voice, times ten. “I understand it. But I don’t understand why you’re sealing off our town and blowing it to pieces.”
The alien wasn’t cowed. “We assure you we had no malicious or violent intent when we traveled to Earth. The unfortunate destruction that ensued is regrettable. We hope all hostilities will cease as soon as possible.”
Mario: “Why did you come here in the first place?”
Alien: “That question can best be answered by our commander, who will join us presently.”
Dave: “What are you, like the number two?”
Alien: “I am, in fact, second in command of this vessel. Perhaps you would like to think of me as the equivalent to the character Riker on your episodic Star Trek television series.”
Dave: “I don’t watch Star Trek.”
Alien: “My apologies. When we were gathering information about Earth and its cultures, we discovered your species has an affinity for fiction which addresses space travel and communication with planets, galaxies and civilizations beyond your own. We found this fact could help us to illustrate our mission. Thus, my comparison of myself to this Riker.”
Dave: “He sounds like you, Mario.”
Alien: “Which of you is called Mario?”
Mario raised his hand.
Alien: “And
which of you is called Brenda Boggis?”
Brenda: “How do you
know my name?”
Dave: “They literally know about Star Trek...”
Alien: “We have your mother and father figures in an isolation unit elsewhere on this vessel. They are both unharmed and in good health.”
Brenda’s face turned pale and her eyes got wide. No matter how many times I’d seen her do it in the past couple days, it was still jarring to see her face not set to scowl. Believe it or not, it was the first time I ever noticed she has blue eyes.
“What did they tell you?” she croaked.
Me, Mario and Dave couldn’t help looking at Brenda. That wasn’t the normal first question to ask when you find out your parents are alive after they were abducted by aliens.
Alien: “That, too, is a question best answered by our commander. Tiran is here now, in fact.”
The giant tube in the middle glowed green and another being descended from somewhere above. It looked just like the rest, except its robe was yellow, with a hood over its big head. I figured only commanders were allowed to wear hoods.
“Greetings, inhabitants of Earth.”
(It really said that.)
I said hi.
Commander: “I hope you do not find it condescending if I ask about your well-being.”
The commander’s voice was more pleasant than the others, but it still spoke awkwardly and stiffly. The four of us glanced at each other, trying to decide among ourselves if it was condescending for the alien to ask about our well-being.
I finally said, “you know. A lot going on.”
Commander: “Certainly so. I trust Sila, my second, has conveyed our deepest regret for the chaos that has ensued upon our arrival. It was never our goal to destroy.”
Me: “Yeah, he said that.”
Commander: “That is pleasurable. I am Tiran. I was chosen by the elders of our home planet to lead this expedition.”
Mario: “Where is your home planet?”
Tiran: “In view of current circumstances, we do not find it prudent to reveal its name or location.”
Dave: “But you find it prudent to start a war on another planet?”
Tiran: “We do not agree with your sentiment that a war is taking place. We simply found it necessary to defend ourselves, as we were attacked.”
Dave started an angry retort but Brenda interrupted him. “Can I see my parents?”
Tiran: “Your mother and father figures have been most cooperative in our examinations. They have been, in short, a delight with which to work.”
The commander sounded more and more like it was using Chat GPT to help it talk.
Brenda’s voice broke and rose at the same time. “What do you mean cooperative? Did you cut them open?”
Tiran: “We did not perform surgery on those two particular humans. We must add that we regret that our knowledge of surgical study on the human brain fell short of our aspirations. You surely understand our limitations, having no subjects on our planet with which to work. We regret that we consequently had no choice but to destroy the five humans on whom we operated previously.”
Dave: “So, you get how that looked like straight-up murder. You killed all my uncles in two seconds.”
Brenda was shaking and her fists were balled up at her sides. “Did you operate on my parents?”
Tiran: “We had no need to do so. We have been able to study subsequent subjects with a noninvasive ray that gives us abundant insight into the mind of the human species. We rejoice, as this insight will be of great value to our own race, who are, as you may have observed, somewhat similar to your own in form and biology.”
Mario: “Why do you want to study the human mind?”
I felt detached from the whole scene, like I was just an observer watching it on TV. I tried to think of something to say, some important question, but I was afraid whatever I said would sound pointless. As funny as it sounds, I wanted to be able to make an impression on these things.
Tiran: “The inhabitants of our planet have recently become sluggish, unable to concentrate on their work. Many have developed an apathy concerning their very existence. It is a completely new phenomenon. So we turned to the nearest, most biologically similar civilization in our search for answers and insight. This happened to be yours.”
Mario: “Do you mean you’re only now discovering depression on your planet?”
Tiran: “We do not have many of the things on our planet which we have observed on Earth. For example, we do not know war or poverty in the way you know them. We saw these phenomena in extremes throughout Earth. However, situations in certain places on this planet proved so extreme we believed the humans in those places would prove too dissimilar from our own cases of behavioral malfunction. It seems evident that the plague which has swept our home is not as severe as the one which ravages the more violent and impoverished parts of your planet. For which we are grateful.”
Mario: “Who are you grateful to? If you don’t mind me asking.”
Tiran: “We anticipated a question of this nature. In studying your planet, we found a great number of your inhabitants yearn to know if there is an intelligent being responsible for the existence of all life. You may feel an affinity with us if we share that we, too, seek the same answers on our own planet. Thus far, we have discovered no definitive proof of such a creator, and the elders of our planet long ago put these findings into our planet’s creeds and laws. However, our inhabitants are free to continue seeking such answers, as long as they do so as individuals, rather than as any corporate body.”
Mario: “Oh. That’s...interesting.”
Tiran went on. “We searched other parts of your world where melancholy, as we found it termed in your literature, was on a level of severity similar to our own. By this we refer to a condition that is disabling, but without the violent chaos and social instability that accompanies other places on Earth where the phenomenon of sorrow is prevalent.”
Pay no attention to the smoking city below, I thought.
“We chose the place called Berlitz, Missouri because the malady that affects you is of the same acute form and character of our own, as, like you, we have not descended into societal chaos. We are much like you. We hope this raises your level of trust that we will take the utmost care during these examinations.”
“Why don’t you just study the...the things on your own planet?” Dave asked.
“The elders of our planet have established a strict but morally pure code of secrecy as it pertains to exploring and curing this plague,” Tiran said. “If our planet’s inhabitants knew we found the situation so alarming it required such extremes, the emotional malady would only become worse. This is but one example of the vast wisdom and foresight our elders possess.”
“You mean you can’t just snatch one guy and chloroform him so he doesn’t tell anybody what happened?” Dave pressed.
“Such deceit would be contrary to our integrity,” Sila the Second put in. “We do not lie to our inhabitants, as none have asked if there is a search for a cure.”
I finally spoke up. “What if somebody did ask?” I kind of dreaded the answer.
“There is, on our planet, what you might equate to a proverb,” Sila said. “‘It is only where there are questions that one will find lies.’”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard” (Dave).
“What if we refuse to do it?” I asked. “These exams, I mean.”
Tiran’s voice was different now. I can’t call it urgent, but he spoke faster, and definitely more firm. “The elders of our planet have insisted this expedition, undertaken for the sake of knowledge and exploration, must not be in vain. They would be extremely displeased if we returned with no information of value. They are well aware of the difficulty we have encountered thus far on this mission, and have expressed much dissatisfaction. We ask you, humbly, for your assistance.”
